I remember learning how to use a computer when I was much older than my friends. It was strange and off limits and overwhelming. Sometimes I just sat there with my hand on the mouse, stricken with all the possibilities and unable to choose even one. High school debate happened (so much research), and Facebook (so much sneaking around) but usually in closely and suspiciously monitored quarters. Then I grew up and moved out and freedom was mine.
I'm ridiculously careful of my time, my responsibilities. I care so much and I try so hard, that 'burnt out' is becoming a perpetual state of being. Freedom, right? Despite all this, my home and life are not even close to meeting my own standards. Sometimes it feels like I can only be successful with one thing at a time, I have to fail everywhere else to make it work. I've spent entire days trying to figure out what's wrong. I love being a mother, a wife. Home is my favorite place to be. I have a lot of fun planning how to make our lives run more smoothly. So what's up? I've come to numerous conclusions the past two years, most of them excuses.
This January my family took one week for a media fast. So, so worth it. I've asked for this before, hoping vaguely that some sort of evil influence or time sucker would suddenly be absent and all problems solved.
Well, something happened.
In the past, we've gone partially 'media' free. This time, It was a little bit like stepping behind an iron curtain. I sat haughtily on my side waiting for productivity to soar in the absence of my enemy while facebook, pinterest, gmail, spotify, blogger, netflix, various informative/inspirational sites, and everything else continued on without me.
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