A Birth Plan...Romanticized

The birth of our baby girl is nearing. 

Lord willing, Erin Elizabeth Feehan will be born in our cozy little apartment with only the midwives, my husband, and my sister present. As instructed in childbirth ed  class, this was meant to be a very practical, bare bones birth plan incorporating the pain management techniques learned during the class. What happened was...something else. What follows is a highly romanticized vision of what our home birth may look like. 

Erin's Birth

I imagine...

I begin to feel contractions very early Wednesday morning. It's barely light outside, and my hsband is holding me tight in his strong arms. I wait, and let him sleep. Deep breaths...relax.

I imagine...

7am alarm sounds. This time, we don't roll over and go back to sleep. Quick! Find the timer. Don't get too excited! Relax. Save your energy.

I imagine...

Our foreheads touching. Whispered prayers, sweet Savior listening. Healthy baby, happy baby. It's not time yet...rest, distract, deny. Don't go to work! Stay with me.

I imagine...

We've covered the clocks. If this takes 40 days and 40 nights...I don't want to know. I want to draw. Paint. I want to splash color on a creamy white page. Laugh, rejoice! Baby is coming.

I imagine...

I'm pacing. Someone is holding my hand. Find a surface, lean...and breath. Visualize Erin's journey. Contractions are massaging my baby. Someone is massaging me. Relax your face, Jessica.

I imagine...

I'm in water. Let's flood the gates, overwhelm the senses. Pouring, pouring...do you want to push? Out of the bath, kneeling beside our bed. My toes krinkle plastic. Gatorade through a straw.

I imagine...

My husband supporting me from behind. Tells me I can do this, tells me how proud he is. Midwife is checking me...who remembered to call her? Loosen your jaw, breath with me. ...my rock and hard place.

I'm imagining...

One last push! Something little is crying, I'm opening my eyes. I'm finished? They give me...my baby. I'm overwhelmed all over again. Skin, I'm touching her skin! My husband says she is beautiful. She has ten fingers and ten toes. And she is well, and I am well...