Teething

My sweet Erin was so sad this morning. Her teeth are hurting her and she's a bit feverish so everything is  more emotional than it should be. For example, earlier I heard her wailing desperately for help in the hallway. When I flew to her aid and asked what she needed the only answer I received was one tiny, trembling finger pointing at some applesauce, dribbled down the front of her shirt.

I am sympathetic, having recently rediscovered what monthly hormones feel like.

Oliver is also teething. His first tooth! 3 months seems a bit young but I also started cutting my teeth at that age so possibly it is a family thing.

In between the chores and baby coordinating I've been reading up on Charlotte Mason. I'm so completely excited to provide the best education possible for my children. The deeper I delve the more I feel like I ought to send myself back to some form of school first.

Ambleside online offers their free annotated version of Charlotte Mason's books here. I'm thinking a steady read through of these will be a great place to start.

In other news, Ben has just started an author's blog called, The Ragman Has a Packrat. It's already great. :)

After work this evening, we all flopped on the floor for a pre-bedtime play session. Oliver joined, small though he is.

I hold to the theory that he is a boy and therefore tough and can handle things. I mean -- look at him. Not even phased (even though I was pretty sure his life was in danger). 

Media Fast January 2014 - Part 2

I enjoyed feeling so secluded during our media fast. It was nice, relying on my cookbooks rather than Google, comparing my housekeeping to yesterday rather than some perfect photo. The phone rang once or twice, surprising me with the reminder that other people still existed. 

I had this moment, standing at my kitchen sink. The blinds were all the way open and Erin and I were singing at the top of our lungs. For the first time in awhile I was perfectly content to wash the dishes. Joyful, even. I didn't have something else I needed to do, or somewhere else to be. In that moment my purpose and goal was to make MY kitchen clean and pretty with MY daughter. It felt like I was a kid again, powering through my chores so I could fly out the door and run with the wind.

Some days were hard. Many times if we had not been on our media fast, I would have called it a day after a rough moment which was after a rough night which was after a rough...everything. By which I mean we would have watched Winnie the Pooh in our pj's because mom needed a break. Instead I prayed a lot more, drank lots of coffee, and took a ridiculous amount of deep breaths. A routine developed, and I guess I don't need as many 'breaks' as I thought I did. Pushing through is really rewarding. Do Hard Things? Psh. Hard things are my life.

This media fast was wildly successful.

~ Priorities have been re-evaluated. 

~ I slowed down. Sometimes the world is too fast for me. There are so many ways to be efficient, so much information to absorb and implement, so many good ideas and ideals -- who has the energy for ALL of that? Maybe I'm just old fashioned.

~ We've established that Sundays will be quiet days. We will unplug and focus inward. That way, weeks won't have gone by without any downtime. No more burning out for me.

~ I hung my clock!! And a photo frame!! This is actually a big deal.

~ Erin's involvement in household things basically doubled, and it seems to be sticking. This is happy.

~ My Mister got a ton of reading done, and made huge progress on his book planning. Guys! His book is going to be amazing! Interesting fact -- we thought of the original idea together, at night, in bed, just before falling asleep. It felt silly and just for fun at the time. It has obviously come a long way since then, but I'm still claiming Muse rights.

~ I also did a lot of reading, and have kept it up since. I used to devour books by the dozen. I'm glad to be back in the game.

~Also, blogging...that's going well.

~ I'm getting more creative with my days. Not so point and shoot. I like how things have taken a bit more of a meandering course.

~ 'Nurturing' isn't always my strong point, but that's improving. Probably a result of a combination of much of the above.

I suspect that a passion for nature and my original under-exposure to modern technology has played key in my need for occasional space and silence. I don't hate our handy modern tools, I'm just me. If I had it my way I'd live in a terrarium. There would probably be flower fairies. We would eat off wooden utensils and drink water from a spring. Since I'm also happy to live in the real world, I'm grateful to know more about my limits, and propensities and potential than I did before our Media Fast. Thanks Mister, for going along with it. Thank you Lord for sound wisdom, laid up in heaven for me and mine. 

/photo credit goes to uncovet.com/

Media Fast January 2014 - Part 1

My husband has occasionally teased me for being a Luddite at heart. Apparently that means I hate technology, or something. It's true, my fondest memories usually take me back to a time where I guess it was always summer, and warm, and full of adventure and discovery and usually no electricity. I remember the best chore days happening to the tune of one of our two CD's (if I had managed to convince mom to let me play it that day) with all the windows open. Preferably the neighbors (aka our best family friends) would be running in and out, and Dad would decide to work on OUR house instead of his construction job.

I remember learning how to use a computer when I was much older than my friends. It was strange and off limits and overwhelming. Sometimes I just sat there with my hand on the mouse, stricken with all the possibilities and unable to choose even one. High school debate happened (so much research), and Facebook (so much sneaking around) but usually in closely and suspiciously monitored quarters. Then I grew up and moved out and freedom was mine.

I'm ridiculously careful of my time, my responsibilities. I care so much and I try so hard, that 'burnt out' is becoming a perpetual state of being. Freedom, right? Despite all this, my home and life are not even close to meeting my own standards. Sometimes it feels like I can only be successful with one thing at a time, I have to fail everywhere else to make it work. I've spent entire days trying to figure out what's wrong. I love being a mother, a wife. Home is my favorite place to be. I have a lot of fun planning how to make our lives run more smoothly. So what's up? I've come to numerous conclusions the past two years, most of them excuses.

This January my family took one week for a media fast. So, so worth it. I've asked for this before, hoping vaguely that some sort of evil influence or time sucker would suddenly be absent and all problems solved.

Well, something happened.

In the past, we've gone partially 'media' free. This time, It was a little bit like stepping behind an iron curtain. I sat haughtily on my side waiting for productivity to soar in the absence of my enemy while facebook, pinterest, gmail, spotify, blogger, netflix, various informative/inspirational sites, and everything else continued on without me.

~ ~ ~

Erin, 20 Months

Erin, my sweet girl,

Now you are almost two, and you have been loudly proclaiming your identity to the world for some time already. I can hardly see a trace of the infant or baby anymore. It's getting easier to look down the road, and see the woman we've been training you to be. With a new brother in the house, I can tell how much your daddy and I learned from you...sometimes I'm worried about lost opportunities, but then I remember that I am also an oldest daughter. You and I will have a special relationship because of it. You will be strong. We will be best friends.

Your daddy and I are so proud of you because:

~ You have your own tiny broom and vacuum, and can take care of the floors with mommy.

~ You love your baby brother and give him kisses all the time.

~ Your favorite game to play on your own is 'going bye-bye' with your best baby doll. This one will get easier after you've learned how to handle all the buckles, straps, laces and corners involved.

~ You are learning to count! 3 is about as high as it gets right now, and the best part for mommy is that you understand the concept as well as how to mimic the sounds.

~ Right now you learn best with a combination of sign language and instruction. I think you feel like we're not putting enough effort into it if our hands are still.

~ Being read to is cause for celebration. We've got to be mindful of our timing because you will ask for book, after book, after book...

~ Cartoons were made especially for daddy and Rinrin. You guys have your own special show, and it's perfect for cuddling and exchanging astonished expressions when something cool happens.

~ You are almost completely fearless as long as daddy and mommy are around.

~ 'Dance' is your favorite sign, and you've got a hair trigger for breaking out into wiggly, bouncy dance sessions.

~ You take the garbage out with daddy, and consider it a serious responsibility.

~ The kitchen counters and drawers belong to you during cooking times. You know which ones are allowed, and you know exactly what to do with them. There have been several meals with your special touch added to things.

~ You love blueberries /so/ much that you are willing to put aside all prejudice in their name. You forged new friendships with your Grandpa and great Grandma based upon the power of the blue berry.

The Big House: A Walk Down Memory Lane

This weekend my parents are away at the Christian Heritage Conference. It falls to Ben and I to check in and make sure everything is running smoothly at the old homestead. 

I love coming here. There are memories everywhere, and I can take a bit of personal pride in the property. When my family moved here in 2007 this beautiful 2.5 acre plot was buried under heaps of garbage, old vehicles, RVs and various sheds built out of scraps to hide more scraps. Instead of this lovely home, we lived in a single wide trailer. I don't have any photos of that, because it was recently smashed with glee by Dad's backhoe while the whole family cheered.

Today when we drove up to the house, we were greeted by two German Shepherds and a lawn full of grass. The beautiful home is missing only a coat of paint, and the landscaping is well on it's way to completion. Raised garden beds hold teeny green sprouts and a swooping gravel driveway is ready and waiting for the black iron gate we all talked about for so long. Everything has come a long way.

The corner of this old and dangerous A-frame sat where the fancy breakfast nook is now. This thing was absolutely packed full of horribly useless stuff. Emptying it by the wheelbarrow load was a grim business, punctuated by dubious exclamations of, "Why would you save this?!" and a lot of head shaking.

I believe there were 7 completely broken down cars sunk into various corners of the property. Getting rid of those was Dad's job, but Mom and us kids got to clear away the old carpet and roofing that was buried with them. Which is miserable. Just take my word for it. 

Once, when mom and I took a break to despair over how deep one of the piles of disintegrated rubble went, we heard a buzzing coming from an old carpet we had tossed onto the hood of this red truck. Mom has serious reactions to stings, so I suited up head to toe, and stood ready with a bottle of the most poisonous looking concoction I could find in the hazardous substances pile. She yanked the carpet aside and dove for cover while I shrieked and viciously attacked the one poor bee that flew lazily away. I'm seriously glad the hive we were sure we'd find wasn't there. 

That's me! We had a tiny dirtbike track which has expanded by now. You can see a pile of tires...there were millions of them. No. Joke. I remember sweaty afternoons spent digging up layers of rimless tires and rolling them down the big hill to our tire stash. We all grew very strong. When the last dump load was hauled away, we had a party. A big one. For weeks after you could hear little ones playing with their toys and mentioning conversationally to their friends that we had finally finished 'The Tire Job'. Since not to many 6 year olds can brag that they'd spent three years doing physical, adult sized labor, we got lot of blank stares.

Dad built our house with his very own hands. Since it was basically going up in our front yard, and we were involved from the point of breaking ground, the 'Big House' became an ever evolving playground. The foundation was a dungeon, the roof a stronghold and secret spy lair. We hung ropes and swings from the rafters of the enormous attic and camped out with our flashlights and BB guns (just in case). Once the roof was on, there was no kind of weather that could have prevented mom from sending us outside to play.

Consequently, I love the outdoors year round.

Little miss Erin is having a difficult time adjusting to nature, however. 

She is okay being held while we are outside, but touch her feet to the ground and that child has some lighting quick reflexes. All of which indicate no. She will not sit in that grass. Those rocks will not dirty her pretty white shoes. And above all, her hands shall not touch the dirt. 

We are working on this. :)

Advice for New Moms: Before, During, and After Baby Comes

These first three months of motherhood have felt like a lifetime unto themselves. Looking back and learning so much, there are a lot of things I wish I had known before I had my first baby. If I could go back in time and talk to my little pregnant self, these are a few of the things I would have told me.

Books

I really enjoyed Babywise and The Baby Whisperer. Each of the books highlight different and important aspects of bonding, and child training, feeding, naps, and various other subjects relevant to parenthood. A thorough perusal of them both should give you a pretty balanced perspective. Discuss the concepts with your spouse and pray for wisdom. (There are many other wonderful books out there, but I found these to be particularly helpful.)

After Erin was born, my husband and I had to work twice as hard at our relationship! The Five Love Languages has been very beneficial to us, even just as a conversation starter.

Asking for help

Ask a loved one to stay with you and your spouse for a few days after your baby is born. My sister in law took the initiative to spend at least three days with Ben and I while we were recovering and adjusting. She cleaned our home and cooked our meals, doing wonderfully unexpected things like washing our laundry, and cleaning up the less pleasant nooks and crannies of our bathroom. She also took it upon herself to make sure I drank lots of postpartum smoothies, and various other helpful things.

During my pregnancy I was very forgetful. Since I've had Erin, I'm not so much forgetful, as I haven't had the energy or time I need to plan and think ahead. I have found it very helpful to keep running lists of the household inventory that needs restocking. If someone offers, or if Ben happens to be going out, I can send a list!

Health and Recovery

Please, please take everyone's advice and SLEEP whenever you have the opportunity. Even after it's been several weeks, or even months, and people stop asking how you're feeling, try to at least fit in a nap.

Make (or have someone else do this!) a bottle of diluted grapefruit seed extract hand spray. Erin is three and a half months old and I still like to have people sanitize when they visit (or wash up after a trip to the grocery store). I'm not a big fan of commercial hand sanitizer. Grapefruit seed extract is an excellent substitute.

Making a soothing peppermint oil for your baby is very simple. While visiting my parents, Erin was suffering from painful tummy gas. My mom simply put a few drops of peppermint essential oil into a tiny vial of olive oil and shook it up. Erin was wrapped up tightly so we just rubbed some of the concoction on her little foot and within a few minutes her gas was gone! I usually rub some into her tummy now, and it works even better. Spearmint essential oil is another option, as I've heard that it is gentler on your baby's system. Just make sure to dilute!

Communicate how you are feeling emotionally and physically. Sometimes women assume the exhaustion or discouragement they feel is normal, or just a temporary no-biggie. Trust me, it's not worth the trouble! The right supplement, or a small diet change can help significantly. Communication with your loved ones and physician or midwife is very important.

Activities/Things to fill your time

After your baby is born, it might be difficult to find the motivation to do anything extra. I would suggest however that you get started on your baby scrapbooks as soon as you can! It's really easy to put this off, and I can tell you it's very likely that you will regret doing so.

Try to be intentional about which activities you choose to fill your down time. Realize that whatever you end up doing on a regular basis will probably become a habit, or at least something that happens way more than it used to. Be warned, and also take advantage of this! Some suggestions:

• Research interesting topics. I love books on interior decorating, container gardening, household organization, personal finance, travel...basically anything that catches my eye in the moment. Ben and I used to frequent Barnes and Noble, and I started to keep record of all the cool things I learned in a tiny moleskin he gave me. 

• Start a new hobby. What have you always wanted to do, but never thought you actually would? Immediately after you have a baby, most people are extremely helpful! When someone asks if they can do something for you, this might be the perfect time to get the supplies you need for a new hobby. You might not even get to it right away, but at least you are prepared to begin whenever you want to.

• Revive old favorite past times. The guitar you haven't touched in ages. The paintbrushes you've almost forgotten how to use. Remember your old journal? This is a great time to pick up hobbies that have fallen to the wayside.

A couple of things I would have like to have put more thought into before labor began:

• How I did my hair! Looking back, a sturdy up-do would have been perfect. I should have asked one of the ladies present to do a nice braid for me. :) (I'm terrible at braiding my own hair!)

• My birthing outfit. I chose a flowy, stretchy purple dress that hit about mid thigh. This would have been perfect had I not decided to jump in the bath! Unfortunately it became very uncomfortable and difficult to manage once I was partially wet. I think next time (Since I plan to labor in a birthing tub next time!) I will wear something made of swimsuit material that reaches mid-calf.

• Set up a birthing tub! Even if you don't think you want to use one, I strongly suggest you have one ready to go just in case you change your mind mid labor. I did change my mind, and I did not have a birthing tub. And let me tell you, a bathtub just doesn't cut it. :)

• Make sure the birthing room has the option to let in/shut out day light, or a small lamp to replace the overhead light if you are laboring during the night. It's nice to have options...I found it more comfortable when the room was dim.

I'm sure there will be much more to come! My baby hasn't even started crawling yet. In the meantime, hopefully some of this advice goes to good use. :)